Saturday, December 10, 2011

I'm Back. Tough Times Indeed.

This will be a short and sweet post.  But, I'm back and I'm ready to start posting again.  It's been a tumultuous several months.  Long story short, Amy's back was hurting a lot when in Mexico and her July PET scan showed spinal tumors.  The VA moved terribly slow getting consults finished to do surgery but said they were confident they could remove the tumors.  They weren't certain they were melanoma, but were pretty positive considering her history.  Well, she went back to Arkansas to visit friends (she was born there) and I was to fly in a week after.  My parents drove her in their RV because she was not really up to flying.  Well, while out there, she had a pleural effusion and was hospitalized for about a week at the Little Rock VA Hospital.  Her family then turned against me when Amy was very ill (long story... just say judgmental VERY rigid Christian outlook... not the type of Christianity we try and practice) and tried to keep her there.  Somehow, I got her on a plane and wheel-chaired her between flight changes and she took enough pain medication (which she hates) to make it back to San Diego.  Then, we find out because of the procedure Little Rock performed from the pleural effusion that she was not able to have the surgery.  So, they said the tumors are now inoperable - that was about a month and a half ago and they gave her 4 to 6 months to live.  Then the pain started - really bad pain and she was on more morphine but still agonizing but not wanting to take more medication cause she hates how it makes her feel in the head.  She is on a medication now and also went to a holistic treatment facility in Mexico (the Biomedical Hoxsey clinic) she has been wanting to go to for about 5 years.  She has tons of supplements to take daily, and the diet is somewhat restrictive, but she is diligent.  I am doing a lot of caretaking.  Some days are good, some are quite bad.  She has lost a lot of weight and is pretty frail but we are still positive.

On another awful note, a friend who I thought was one of my very good friends ended up being a thief and a con artist.  She was a high school friend of mine and we had been getting to know one another very well for over 2 years (or so I thought).  She owned a farm in Illinois and was somewhat well off (or so I thought).  Her daughter attended college at USD and went overseas and my "friend" called me asking me for help because her husband's briefcase was stolen and all their credit cards had been cancelled by their fraud protection company (so she said).  I offered to help via my credit card (which has had a zero balance for 6 years because I DO NOT use credit cards) and I naively gave her my number thinking she was a very good friend.  Long story short, she maxed my credit card out at over $17K and the credit card company said I was liable since I gave the number out.  Didn't matter that I only authorized one purchase (hotel for daughter in Greece).  So, now I am having to make pretty hefty payments for things I did not buy.  I can't do anything legally, cause I've been told it's a "civil suit".  Turns out she and her husband both have felonies against them and this is not the first time they have done this.  They are very good at what they do.

As far as our living situation, things aren't so good.  We had to leave our Joshua Tree home and go to San Diego because that is where her medical care is (no care nearby Joshua Tree).  Since we can't sell our home and have a mortgage payment and an unexpected credit card payment, and having to live on my income alone, we are having to stay with friends.  Not so great for someone who has stage 4 cancer, but I have a wonderful friend who was a co-worker and she lives 3 blocks from the ocean in San Diego.  So, we are staying there for now.  We can't stay at my parents cause there home is in escrow and they are in between homes.  We have opted "not to do Christmas" this year and this is hard for me as I love the holidays this year and was planning this year to have a lot of homemade and canned gifts to give people.

Our animals are all safe and in wonderful homes but our "family" is spread out all over.  The chickens and Jack the rooster have a great foster home on 5 acres in San Diego where they can free range during the day with more than just desert sand!  Bugs and greens.  My horse is at a good friend's house and she has 3 other horses on 9 acres and she is spoiled.  My boxer Sherman and Pug CJ are at a good friend's home and she has 2 other dogs.  We have Troy the Chiahuahua cause he is calm and the only dog that Amy can really handle right now.  Sherman the Boxer is good but our crazy young Pug CJ and he are a team and need to be kept together.

So, prayers are asked for!!  Our home is for sale in Joshua Tree and if we can sell it then I can get a rental in San Diego.  Amy has applied for social security for her cancer but we don't know when that will come.  All we want is a home of our own and to be able to have all our animals on the same property.  All we want is Amy's good health.

Well, that's the gist of our situation.  I wish I had better news.  I have been reluctant to post anything for so long because things have been rather bleak, but for some reason I feel I'm ready now.  I'm always hopeful and always positive.  I hope for all of you that you're doing well and getting ready for Christmas with family and friends.  Hope the canning jars are full and gifts you made are ready to be given!  I'll be at it this next year.  Hope I haven't lost all my followers.  I know it's been a while.  Well, it feels good just to write.  As a caregiver, I've been pretty isolated and I felt myself starting to sink a bit.  No more - gonna watch myself.  Bye for now and it will not be nearly as long until the next post!  Regularly, I hope.