Saturday, December 10, 2011

I'm Back. Tough Times Indeed.

This will be a short and sweet post.  But, I'm back and I'm ready to start posting again.  It's been a tumultuous several months.  Long story short, Amy's back was hurting a lot when in Mexico and her July PET scan showed spinal tumors.  The VA moved terribly slow getting consults finished to do surgery but said they were confident they could remove the tumors.  They weren't certain they were melanoma, but were pretty positive considering her history.  Well, she went back to Arkansas to visit friends (she was born there) and I was to fly in a week after.  My parents drove her in their RV because she was not really up to flying.  Well, while out there, she had a pleural effusion and was hospitalized for about a week at the Little Rock VA Hospital.  Her family then turned against me when Amy was very ill (long story... just say judgmental VERY rigid Christian outlook... not the type of Christianity we try and practice) and tried to keep her there.  Somehow, I got her on a plane and wheel-chaired her between flight changes and she took enough pain medication (which she hates) to make it back to San Diego.  Then, we find out because of the procedure Little Rock performed from the pleural effusion that she was not able to have the surgery.  So, they said the tumors are now inoperable - that was about a month and a half ago and they gave her 4 to 6 months to live.  Then the pain started - really bad pain and she was on more morphine but still agonizing but not wanting to take more medication cause she hates how it makes her feel in the head.  She is on a medication now and also went to a holistic treatment facility in Mexico (the Biomedical Hoxsey clinic) she has been wanting to go to for about 5 years.  She has tons of supplements to take daily, and the diet is somewhat restrictive, but she is diligent.  I am doing a lot of caretaking.  Some days are good, some are quite bad.  She has lost a lot of weight and is pretty frail but we are still positive.

On another awful note, a friend who I thought was one of my very good friends ended up being a thief and a con artist.  She was a high school friend of mine and we had been getting to know one another very well for over 2 years (or so I thought).  She owned a farm in Illinois and was somewhat well off (or so I thought).  Her daughter attended college at USD and went overseas and my "friend" called me asking me for help because her husband's briefcase was stolen and all their credit cards had been cancelled by their fraud protection company (so she said).  I offered to help via my credit card (which has had a zero balance for 6 years because I DO NOT use credit cards) and I naively gave her my number thinking she was a very good friend.  Long story short, she maxed my credit card out at over $17K and the credit card company said I was liable since I gave the number out.  Didn't matter that I only authorized one purchase (hotel for daughter in Greece).  So, now I am having to make pretty hefty payments for things I did not buy.  I can't do anything legally, cause I've been told it's a "civil suit".  Turns out she and her husband both have felonies against them and this is not the first time they have done this.  They are very good at what they do.

As far as our living situation, things aren't so good.  We had to leave our Joshua Tree home and go to San Diego because that is where her medical care is (no care nearby Joshua Tree).  Since we can't sell our home and have a mortgage payment and an unexpected credit card payment, and having to live on my income alone, we are having to stay with friends.  Not so great for someone who has stage 4 cancer, but I have a wonderful friend who was a co-worker and she lives 3 blocks from the ocean in San Diego.  So, we are staying there for now.  We can't stay at my parents cause there home is in escrow and they are in between homes.  We have opted "not to do Christmas" this year and this is hard for me as I love the holidays this year and was planning this year to have a lot of homemade and canned gifts to give people.

Our animals are all safe and in wonderful homes but our "family" is spread out all over.  The chickens and Jack the rooster have a great foster home on 5 acres in San Diego where they can free range during the day with more than just desert sand!  Bugs and greens.  My horse is at a good friend's house and she has 3 other horses on 9 acres and she is spoiled.  My boxer Sherman and Pug CJ are at a good friend's home and she has 2 other dogs.  We have Troy the Chiahuahua cause he is calm and the only dog that Amy can really handle right now.  Sherman the Boxer is good but our crazy young Pug CJ and he are a team and need to be kept together.

So, prayers are asked for!!  Our home is for sale in Joshua Tree and if we can sell it then I can get a rental in San Diego.  Amy has applied for social security for her cancer but we don't know when that will come.  All we want is a home of our own and to be able to have all our animals on the same property.  All we want is Amy's good health.

Well, that's the gist of our situation.  I wish I had better news.  I have been reluctant to post anything for so long because things have been rather bleak, but for some reason I feel I'm ready now.  I'm always hopeful and always positive.  I hope for all of you that you're doing well and getting ready for Christmas with family and friends.  Hope the canning jars are full and gifts you made are ready to be given!  I'll be at it this next year.  Hope I haven't lost all my followers.  I know it's been a while.  Well, it feels good just to write.  As a caregiver, I've been pretty isolated and I felt myself starting to sink a bit.  No more - gonna watch myself.  Bye for now and it will not be nearly as long until the next post!  Regularly, I hope.


  1. Oh my goodness. It is good to see your post. Both of you have been in my prayers these long months. I'm so sorry to hear all of the trials you two are experiencing. How Amy's family treated you is something only they can atone for. How horrible for you. Then the "friend"? Who could fathom that would happen? How can people can live with themselves after doing that? I'm sending prayers and good vibes your way from Florida! Take care of yourself and please keep writing.


  2. Am so glad to see a post from you. Have thought of you often. Prayers going up for you,Amy and that all your family will be back together one day soon.

  3. So nice to see you back. I will certainly remember you and Amy in my prayers.

  4. I'm sorry to hear about the horrible reception of Amy's family, and all this turbulance you are experiencing. You both are in our prayers. It is good to see you back though. Please do continue to write, if for anything as an outlet for you. Is there anything we can do to help out? Please just email. Hugs to both of you. - Jen. The Kelly's Adventures in KY.

  5. Many thoughts and prayers go your way.

  6. I'm glad you are posting. It will help you with your caretaker roll and give you an outlet. As you can see we all haven't left you. We are hear to be your shoulder.
    I think of you both all the time and my prayers go with you both.

  7. I am so sorry for all the troubles. You both deserve better. Prayers for your financial situation and for Amy's healing, peace and comfort.

  8. Thank you everyone for your comments. They mean more than you know!! I share them with Amy and she smiles. Thanks for bringing some smiles to both of us.

  9. Oh! Hopeful you and Amy have been in our thoughts and prayers for almost a year now. I felt that something wasn't right when I didn't hear from you, even by email and I sent you a few things hoping you were alright.

    Please give Amy a HUG from all of us in MT and that we are praying for her.

    Bless your heart, you've certainly been through the ringer and that so called friend,sadly you just can't seem to trust anyone these days, not even family or so it seems. When I feel myself getting down God always shows em that I'm still blessed and that there are others who have it worse. If we didn't have hard times we'd never truly appreciate the good ones, or so I think!

    Keep in touch, my email has changed, so will email you so you have my new one, okay?


  10. I will keep you and Amy in my prayers.

  11. You didn't lose me as a follower, I just missed that you had posted this. I'm glad I went over my blog list and saw your more recent posts, which I will read now. My heart goes out to you and Amy. I'm so glad you have decided to post. You will find that you have many friends online. When my Soldier was so ill and couldn't get up, a woman in Colorado, someone who follows my blog, sent him her dead dog's harness, which was a turning point in his healing. I could have never afforded this fantastic gift. Take care and I will read your more recent posts now.


Your comments are much appreciated and enjoyed!